Carry You With Me
by Deynaville2017
Summary: A quick one shot about what I think Deacon did with the 'Rayna Jaymes' guitar pick.


It might seem strange to a lot of people, but that guitar pick was important to Deacon. It was just a normal pick, but it had her name on it. Rayna Jaymes. It was still the most beautiful name he had ever heard, brought so many memories with it, but it was eerie now too.

It was still weird to think of her in the past, to know he'd never hold or see her in this life again. In many ways, after her death, Deacon had just wanted to roll over and die. The girl's were the only reason he was still functioning as much as he was, and Deacon wouldn't exactly call staying locked in their-his- room all day, staring at the wall in the dark, living.

Going through this box of hers, though painful, had been somewhat of a relief. Deacon wasn't sure what to call it, but it felt something like… the most painful grief he could imagine, but moving somewhere towards… acceptance? No! He didn't want to accept this! Rayna was everything, and without her, what was his life? Maddie's dad, yeah. Daphne's caretaker, sure, for now. How long would that be? Teddy would be out of prison soon and then- why was he thinking like this? What was wrong with him? Being a father had been the greatest blessing of his life, and Deacon loved those girls so much, he'd do anything for them. He couldn't leave them.

So he had to be strong. Just like he had promised Ray. Somehow, Deacon had to lift up his head up, put on something that resembled an attempt at a smile, and be strong. Those girls needed him.

This box had been something he'd been afraid to look through, afraid of what he might find and learn. Maybe these notes and diaries would be filled with bad memories, of all the ways he'd hurt her, of fears and old pain. Otherwise, she might have been more open to sharing it when they were trying to write that album.

The truth had been nothing short of the opposite of what he'd expected. These were all love letters, diaries of her undying love-almost like a sappy teen romance. Deacon managed a laugh, one that he didn't even realize as his own, as it occurred to him how Rayna would slap him if she knew he had thought that.

That video had been the most beautiful thing. Rayna thought he was strong, she always had, and she thought that every hardship he was faced with only made him stronger and come out better on the other side. Next to her coming back from the grave, what more could he ask for?

That album had meant the world to her, and Deacon finally understood why, it had been about them. Their relationship had been marked by hardship and pain and hurt and broken promises, broken and rebuilt trust, but, above all, they had loved one another with every piece of their hearts and souls. There had never been a day since their first meeting, and there never would be, when their lives hadn't been so intimately and intricately connected. This album wasn't exposing their painful past, it was supposed to be Rayna's magnum opus. It was their love story, complex and true and deep. This album wasn't for the fans, really, it had been for them. Rayna had loved this project, and Deacon finally understood why. How had he been so stubborn and bullheaded that he hadn't even noticed it?

Deacon had been so angry, so overtaken with grief, that he had made this about him. Truthfully, no, he didn't want that album released. It was personal, it was between them, and without Rayna… it didn't seem right. She had wanted this album, though, and she was excited about it. Rayna would want this album to get finished and be put out there, for everyone to hear their triumphant story of undying and unending love. That was it.

Eyes glancing Heavenward, Deacon felt the tears start to come freely. "I'm sorry!" He cried out, but his voice soon turned to hardly more than an inaudible murmur, "I'm sorry, Rayna. I was selfish…but… I'm gonna.. do… what you'd have wanted." His hand slipped in his pocket, withdrawing the pick he now kept in it. There were a couple scratches, it had been used for years, but her name was still printed on it as though it had been made yesterday. Deacon hadn't let the thing leave his pocket since he'd found it. Now, though, he had a different plan for it. Pressing it to his lips, Deacon kissed it, it made him feel closer to Rayna.

About a half hour later, Deacon was on his way to Highway 65. Someone had to keep the business afloat, and he was the one that knew her best. Deacon wouldn't let her business go under, along with Maddie and Daphne, it was kind of her baby. This album her masterpiece. Deacon had to protect them both, and make sure that album got heard.

When he got to the studio, his heart stopped a moment. What was going on?

Deacon had some resrvations about the whole idea of everyone pitching in… this was supposed to be their album, their love story. It wasn't a love story when half the city was singing along to it! Watching their friends, though, Deacon realized something. This might not have been what Rayna had envisioned, but it was something she would love. Everyone coming together to get something done, everyone being so close and good to each other, and Deacon knew she was watching them from Heaven right now. Oh, he could just see that smile he knew she was giving. This was the right thing to do, it's what she'd want.

Now, here he was. In the studio, about to record with Rayna's previously recorded vocals. His heart wanted to burst right there, and Deacon wasn't sure he'd be able to do this. She would want him to, so he'd try, but it seemed so weird, so hard, to sing a duet without her at his side. The music was starting though, and he couldn't back out now. This was for Rayna. Instinctively, his hand touched a spot over his chest, clutching lightly. Through the thin material of his shirt, Deacon felt the outline of a metal cross and a guitar pick that had been fashioned to hang from a chain. For the rest of his life, Deacon would never take off the chain. It would be how he would keep Rayna physically near to his heart at all times.

"There's never been a day when I've walked this world alone…"


End file.
